


Sticky Fingers in the Name of Love

by DilynAliceBlake



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Ficlet, Fluff, Human AU, Incest, Janus and Logan are mentioned, M/M, Twincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:40:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27915424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DilynAliceBlake/pseuds/DilynAliceBlake
Summary: Remus makes terrible decisions in the name of romance and Roman can't help but be charmed by the lengths he'll go.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	Sticky Fingers in the Name of Love

**Author's Note:**

> dreamed that remus worked at the tipton hotel doing estabon's job. absolutely could not pass up the opportunity to make something.

Remus didn’t make the greatest bag boy slash doorman, truth be told, but he’d spent enough time around his brother that he could put on airs of decency when on the clock. Some things were worth risking his job, but in all honesty, he didn’t  _ mean _ to nearly start an international incident. (He was still proud of the accomplishment though.)

Politics were mostly boring, but peace and goodwill were important to other people, so Remus ended up working as a fetch-and-carry for what could only be described as a princess convention. It probably had an official name, and three or four purposes because royals didn’t tend to meet up in one place unless it was, if not necessary, then at least worth the risk.

The thing is, it was too glorious an opportunity for him to possibly pass up.

He couldn’t act too early, because then there’d be a big hullabaloo and probably some kind of search of the premises. He also had to be stealthy, but you didn’t work in a place for very long as Remus and not know where all the camera’s blind spots were. 

So when everyone important was leaving and Remus was just one faceless lackey among many he got sticky fingers.

  
  


“There were thirteen other assorted princesses nearby. Are you so sure that the one you saw him wearing was  _ your  _ crown, and he wasn’t just playing with somebody  _ else’s  _ diadem?”

“It was gold!” she insisted, but her accented voice wavered now with uncertainty.

“Would you like to search me again?” Remus offered, feigning exasperated annoyance like he wasn’t riding the best adrenaline high of his  _ life _ . “Go through my bags, maybe?”

The thing is, Remus wasn’t stupid. When he’d scoped out a piece to lift, he’d used his next opportunity off the clock to pick up a similar enough looking plastic costume accessory from the nearest discount shop. It had come with horribly uncomfortable looking sparkly plastic shoes and a wand, which he’d immediately tossed. The closest thing they were going to find to a tiara in his bag was a kitschy toy. 

When they pulled it out he did his best to make himself blush. (The things he thought about to accomplish this are better off not mentioned.)

“Would you believe it’s for my niece?” he offered up halfheartedly. They probably would have if he hadn’t been trying to elicit skepticism, actually, but Remus didn’t have a niece and he wasn’t going to let his defense be anything less than airtight. 

“Sometimes a guy just wants to feel pretty,” he mumbled at the raised eyebrows of the assorted security forces. His case was pretty solidly backed by the fact that the only underwear in his things was an assortment of lacy panties. Calling that a coincidence would be understating his habits and overstating his foresight. It _was_ convenient though. 

The only person there who had any inkling that Remus wasn’t actually ashamed was Roman. Remus had claimed he had a right to a defense, and then instead of calling an  _ actual  _ lawyer, had increased the illusion that he was surprised and unsettled by the accusation by calling his twin brother. He wasn’t, as far as those present were going to be concerned, guilty, and so had no reason to need actual legal counsel.

If Remus was actually innocent there’s no way he would have trusted the system and its parade of idiots to realize that, and would absolutely have called Logan. (Logan was his go to lawyer when he wanted to prove he wasn’t actually culpable. Janus was who he called when he needed out of a tight spot and the evidence was sure to be against him.)

His precious little princey was really selling it though; making noises about how convenient it was that none of the other royalty were considered as possible culprits. 

When Remus was released with what amounted to a diplomatic non-apology, he made his way to where he’d stashed the prize.

“I know you don’t like being in the doghouse, Remus, but isn’t it going a little far to stage an arrest to get me to talk to you?” Roman grumbled. Remus was currently bunking in an empty room at the hotel where he worked, because Roman had been mad enough about his antics during their last quarrel to actually kick him out while his brother took time to cool down.

It happened pretty often, but this had been the first time Roman’s ire managed to last more than two days.

“I didn’t  _ stage _ anything, my potential arrest was very real!” Remus insisted, holding the liberated status piece behind his back and just out of sight.

“I'm not stupid. I know that nothing shady ever happens without you honing in on it like a bloodhound, Remus. Why didn’t you just tell them who  _ actually _ stole the crown? Is there honor among thieves or were you being tactful enough to try and prevent a war breaking out?”

“One swiped bit of jewelry among princesses would hardly start an actual war. Maybe fuck up trade deals for a while; rich people are petty. Anyway, I couldn’t just rat out details on where it was. A tiara,” he declared, presenting it to Roman with a flourishing bow and roguish wink, “belongs to a  _ prince _ .”

“Holy shit,” Roman whispered in awe. “You stole me jewels from actual royalty.”

“A real crown for a real prince charming,” Remus crooned, pushing it delicately into Roman’s hair. “So am I forgiven?”

“You stole me an  _ actual royal crown _ ,” Roman repeated, awestruck. “Remus you probably lost your job over this!”

“Yeah well, I wasn’t keen on working here much longer anyway. All the posh manners? Not my style.”

“I love you so much,” Roman voiced, apparently once more hit with the realization that he had terrible taste.

“Wanna go home and have sex with it on?” Remus asked.

“Oh  _ absolutely _ .”


End file.
